Animal I have become
by Kawinka
Summary: AU Red looks good on her. Black suits her better. She decides never to think of yellow again. Zcentric


_Disclaimer: Don't own PR:SPD. The title comes from 'Animal I have become' by Three Days Grace, which I don't own either._

_Animal I have become _

_She doesn't remember anymore. She knows what sky and diamonds are. 'Brother' was a manthra for her once. Now it's just a word. She doesn't know what it means. Imagines of bridges flash through her mind. Probably it is a message, but she does not understand it anymore. _

_She doesn't remember pain anymore. She is covered with this red substance. It is a beautiful sight- red against her pale skin. Sometihng tells her that once yellow stood better against her skin. But she doesn't remember anymore. Red feels right. _

_In the darkness of the cell it doesn't look like red. She knows it is red, but it looks like black. But black against her pale skin looks also good. It feels right. Somehow it feels as right as yellow would look. _

_Today or tonight- she doesn't know anymore, Mora brings a dog in the cell to play with. It is an old stuff toy, a blue dog. It remind her of something but she doesn't remember. Mora is laughing. Z is laughing too. Innocence and insanity mix together. _

_Mora... Mora...Bridge...Diamonds...Brother...Sky...Dog...Z is bored...out of her mind. She is out of her mind. _

_Suddenly the pain lashes through her body. Unbearable pain. She doesn't remember, but she wants to forget. The pain, she wants to forget the pain. _

_She remembers barely her want to survive, she remembers escape tries. But now she is tired. She remembers nightmares and sometimes she can't help but wonder if this is a nightmare. _

_Mora is laughing. Z is laughing. Z is choking Mora. She leaves the cell, thinking that blue looks good on Mora's pale skin. In trance she is making her way trough the ship. She doesn't remember, she doesn't know where she is going. She leaves death and destruction behind. She kicks and punches, and snaps necks, and later slice with someone else's blades through the countless monsters. Blood... Red looks good on her. Black suits her better. She decides never to think of yellow again. _

_Blue electric energy dances in front of her. Somethink forgotten tells her it is okay. But she doesn't like blue. She wants black...or red. Crimson red...like blood. No yellow, no blue. Monsters are coming behind her. She is calm when she turns to meet them. Her blades dance in harmony with her body. There's deadly precision, not a single unnecessary movement. The room is like a battlefield. It is a battlefield. She leaves Death behind. But there's no regret, as she steps in the blue electric energy. _

_She still likes black better. Or crimson red._

_Days later she wakes up in a white hospital bed to see yellow blanket. A boy in green is holding her hand. The black lеather of his gloves looks good against her pale skin. He is talking, but she does not hear. She is seeing black. Soon the room is filled with people in pink, red, blue. _

_She never says enything. Soon they send her to her own room. To the room she used to live. It is yellow and pink and she knows that she will not stand it. She spends her first night on the roof. The sky is clear, dark blue, black. In the morning they demand from her to stay in her room. They are afraid she might jump, that she might kill herself. She remembers that she died once. She know it is important memory. She remembers fight...brother...dark alley, a little girl, Mora and her laugh. She remembers that there was pain. She remembers being weak and helpless and she know that she hates that feeling. _

_The big blue dog explains to her that they are family, that they will not leave her behind. But something tells her he is lieing. He asks her if she needs anything. Z knows he doesn't expect an answer. But there's something she needs- black. _

_'I hate yellow and pink.' She states in her raspy unused voice. _

_They stare at her in disbelief. But she is not finished:_

_'I hate blue and green. I like red, but I love black. Red in darkness looks like black. Black looks good on my skin. Krybots and monsters have black blood. Blue looks good on Mora. I gave her blue, but she wasn't laughing.'_

_They stare at her with pity and disbelief, sadness and some anger. Kat steps in front of her and tries to reasure her that everything will be fine. But Z already knows and tells them:_

_'I love black and rangers don't kill. Nothing will ever be alright.' _

_She disappeares in her yellow and pink room. Hours later when they finally dare to look for her they find a pile of half burned yellow clothes and a note on the desk:_

_'Death is black and I love black'_


End file.
